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Wash Washburne:"I don't mean to alarm anybody but, I think we're being followed."

Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"Ok um, I'm lost. Uh, I'm angry and I'm armed."

River:"Put the gun away."
Jubal Early:"Ok, I'm putting it away."
Simon:"Noooo he's not."

Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"Well, your right about this being a bad idea."
Zoe:"Thanks for saying sir."

Jubal Early:"Where'd she go?"
Simon:"I can't keep track of her when she's not incorporeally possessing a spaceship. Don't look at me."
Jubal Early:"That's some nonsensical crap. Ain't nobody can do that. Your somewhere on this boat! Somewhere with a comm, playing games!"
River Laughing
Jubal Early:"That's somewhat unsettling."

Simon:"So you're a bounty hunter?"
Jubal Early:"No, that ain't it at all."
Simon:"Then what are you?"
Jubal Early:"I'm a bounty hunter."

River: "I can kill you with my brain."

Wash Washburne:"Can I mop your brow? I'm at the ready with the fearsome brow mop!"

Kaylee:"Don't let the space bugs bite!"

Jayne Cobb:"I'll be in my bunk."

Jubal Early:"Doesn't anybody care that I have a finely crafted gun pointed at this boy's head?!"

Jayne Cobb: "You know what the chain of command is? It's a chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who is in ruttin' command here."

Jayne Cobb: "Captain, can you stop her from being cheerful please?"
Captain Malcolm Reynolds: "I don't believe there's power in the Verse that will stop Kaylee from being cheerful. Sometimes you just want to duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month."
Kaylee: "I love my captain."

Jubal Early:"Man is stronger by far than woman, yet only woman can create a child. Does that seem right to you?"

Tracey:"When you can't run, you crawl. And when you can't crawl, when you can't do that."
Zoe Washburne:"You find someone to carry you."

Wash Washburne: "Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

River:"It's getting very very crowded!"

River:"You're not right Early. You're not righteous. You got issues."

Jayne:"Let's move this conversation in a not Jayne's fault direction."

Jubal Early:"Your sister's becoming a real annoyance."
Simon:"I feel for you."

Inara:"You should really have the young doctor look at this."
Book:"It's not so bad."
Inara:"Then I'm sure you'll be fine."
Book:"I wouldn't say that."

Simon:"He's really very gentle and fuzzy. We're becoming fast friends."

Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"This here is a recipe for unpleasantness. Does she understand that?"
River:"She understands. She doesn't comprehend."
Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"Well I'm glad we made that distinction. No touching guns!"

Jubal Early:"Well... here I am."

Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"Well look at this! Looks like we got here just in the nick of time! What does that make us?"
Zoe:"Big damn heroes sir!"
Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"Ain't we just!"

Jayne Cobb: "Time for some thrilling heroics."

Lieutenant Womack: "That hat makes you look like an idiot."

Jubal Early:"You folks are all insane."
Simon:"Well, my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood."

Zoe Washburne:"I know something ain't right."
Wash Washburne:"Sweetie, we're crooks. If everything were right, we'd be in jail."

Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"Now I gotta know how close the Alliance is, exactly how much you told them before Wash scrambled your call. So, I've given Jayne here the job of finding out."
Jayne Cobb:"He was non-specific as to how."

Simon:"Come on out River. The nice man wants to kidnap you."

Zoe Washburne:"Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?"
Shepherd Book:"Quite specific. It is however somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps."

Zoe Washburne:"Where's River at now?"
Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"In her room, which I'm thinking we bolt from the outside from now on."
Wash Washburne:"That's a little extreme, isn't it?"
Jayne Cobb:"Anyone remember her coming at me with a butcher's knife?"
Wash Washburne:"Wacky fun."
Jayne Cobb:"You wanna go little man?!"
Wash Washburne:"Only if it's someplace with candlelight."

Simon:"Are you Alliance?"
Jubal Early:"Am I a lion?"
Simon:"What?"
Jubal Early:"I don't think of myself as a lion. You might as well though, I have a mighty roar."

Wash Washburne: "I am a large, semi-muscular man. I can take it."

Jayne Cobb: "What, she killed them with mathematics. What else could it have been?"

Jubal Early:"You know, with the exception of one deadly and unpredictable midget, this girl is the smallest cargo I've ever had to transport. Yet by far the most troublesome. Does that seem right to you?"

Simon:"Your out of your mind."
Jubal Early:"That's between me and my mind."

River Tam:"No power in the Verse can stop me."

Jayne Cobb: "I don't understand why we didn't leave that sob in a pool of his own blood."
Captain Malcolm Reynolds: "We'd be dead. Can't get payed if your dead."
Jayne Cobb: "Can't get payed if you crawl away like a bitty little bug neither. I got a share of this job. 10 percent of nothing is.... let me do the math here... nothing, and a nothing..."

River:"It's just an object. Doesn't mean what you think."

Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"Listen, we're holding this ground no matter what."
Bendis:"We're gonna die!"
Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"We're not gonna die. We can't die Bendis. You know why? Because we are so... very... pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die."

Book:"I don't give half a hump if your innocent or not. So where does that put you?"

Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"You want to meet the 'real me' now!"

Jubal Early:"You made the right move darling. Best for you to go home with old Early."
Mal:"You think so? Some of us feel differently."

Jayne Cobb: "Saint Jayne! It's got a ring to it!"
Shepherd Book: "I'm just trying to remember how many miracles you've performed."
Jayne Cobb: "I once hit a guy in the neck from 500 yards with a bent scope. Don't that count upstairs?"
Shepherd Book: "Oh, it will be taken into consideration."
Jayne Cobb: "You made that sound kinda ominous."

Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"Now you only got to scare him."
Jayne:"Pain is scary."
Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"Just do it right."

Simon:"River?"
River:"River's gone."
Jubal Early:"Then who exactly are we talking to?"
River:"Your talking to Serenity. And Early, Serenity is very unhappy."

Kaylee:"Hey captain."
Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"Hey... hello Kaylee, whats the news?"
Kaylee:"I'm shiny captain... A-ok."

Kaylee Frye:"No, it's shiny!"

Jubal Early:"Well I'll be a son of a whore. Your not in my gorram mind! Your on my gorram ship!"

Wash Washburne:"Here's something you can't do."

Wash Washburne:"Little River just gets more colorful by the moment. What'll she do next?"
Zoe Washburne:"Either blow us all up or rub soup in her hair. It's a toss-up."
Wash Washburne:"I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it."

Wash Washburne:"That sounds like something out of science-fiction."
Zoe Washburne:"We live in a spaceship dear."

Wash Washburne:"How did your brain even learn human speech? I just get so curious!"

Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"I wish it were that simple."
Jayne:"Yeah! And if wishes were horses, we'd all be eating steak!"

Zoe Washburne:"Is there any way I'm going to get out of this with honor and dignity?"
Wash Washburne:"You're pretty down to ritual suicide, Lambi-toes."

Theme song to Firefly

Jayne Cobb: "I don't like the idea someone hearing what I'm thinking."
Inara: "No one likes the idea of hearing what your thinking."

Simon:"So does it happen a lot? Government commandeering your ship, telling you where to go?"
Captain Malcolm Reynolds:"That's what governments are for... get in a man's way."

Jayne Cobb:"What, are you saying she's a witch?"
Wash Washburne:"Yes, Jayne, she's a witch. She has had congress with the Beast."
Jayne Cobb:"She's in Congress?"

Zoe Washburne:"Sir, I'd like you take the helm please. I need this man to tear all my clothes off."
Wash Washburne:"Work work work."

Simon Tam:"You don't have to worry about me."
Wash Washburne:"Well, Zoe's out on a deal. I always worry, so its not out of my way."