Christine Everheart:"You've been called the Da Vinci of our time. What do you say to that?"
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Absolutely ridiculous. I don't paint."
Christine Everheart:"And what do you say to your other nickname, the Merchant of Death?"
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"That's not bad."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Let me guess. Berkeley?"
Christine Everheart:"Brown actually."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Well, Miss Brown, it's an imperfect world, but it's the only one we've got. I guarantee you the day weapons are no longer needed to keep the peace, I'll start making bricks and beams for baby hospitals."
Christine Everheart:"Rehearse that much?"
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Every night in front of the mirror before bedtime."
Christine Everheart:"I can see that."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I'd like to show you firsthand."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Is it better to be feared or respected? And I say, is it too much to ask for both?"
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Day 11, Test 37, Configuration 2.0. For lack of a better option, Dummy is still on fire safety. If you douse me again, and I'm not on fire, I'm donating you to a city college."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Yeah, I can fly."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Sometimes you gotta run before you can walk."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"They say the best weapon is one you never have to fire. I respectfully disagree. I prefer the weapon you only have to fire once. That's how dad did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I'm sorry, this is the Fun-Vee. The Hum-Drum-Vee is back there."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've caught me doing."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Please, no gang signs. No, throw it up, I'm kidding."
Pepper Potts:"Will that be all Mr. Stark?"
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"That will be all Miss Potts."
Christine Everheart:"You ever lose an hour of sleep your whole life?"
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I'm prepared to lose a few with you."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Find an excuse to let one of these off the chain, and I personally guarantee you the bad guys won't even want to come out of their caves."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Iron Man? That's kind of catchy. It's got a nice ring to it. I mean it's not technically accurate. The suit is a gold titanium alloy, but its kind of provocative, the imagery anyway."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I don't want to see this on your Myspace page."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Peace means having a bigger stick than the other guy."
Christine Everheart:"That's a great line coming from the guy selling the sticks."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"My turn."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Yeah peace! I love peace. I'd be out of a job with peace."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I feel like you're driving me to a court martial. This is crazy. What did I do? I feel like you're going to pull over and snuff me. What? You're not allowed to talk?"
Soldier:"Sir, I have a question to ask."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Yes, please."
Soldier:"Is it true you went 12 for 12 with last years Maxim cover models?"
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"That is an excellent question. Yes and no. March and I had a scheduling conflict but fortunately the Christmas cover was twins."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"It is one thing to question the official story, and another thing entirely to make wild accusations, or insinuate that I'm a superhero. "
Christine Everheart:"I never said you were a super hero."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"You didn't? Well, good, because that would be outlandish and, uh, fantastic."
Pepper Potts:"I thought you said you were done making weapons."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"It isn't. This is a flight stabilizer. It's completely harmless."
Explosion
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I didn't expect that."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Your eyes are red. A few tears for your long lost boss?"
Pepper Potts:"Tears of joy. I hate job hunting."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Yeah, vacations over."
Agent Phil Coulson:"Mister Stark?"
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Yeah?"
Agent Phil Coulson:"Agent Coulson."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the guy from the uh..."
Agent Phil Coulson:"Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Phew! God, you need a new name for that."
Agent Phil Coulson:"Yeah, I hear that a lot."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"What, you got plans?"
Pepper Potts:"As a matter of fact I do."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I don't like it when you have plans."
Pepper Potts:"I'm allowed to have plans on my birthday."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"It's your birthday?"
Pepper Potts:"Yes."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I knew that. Already?"
Pepper Potts:"Yeah, isn't that strange? It's the same day as last year."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Well, get yourself something nice from me."
Pepper Potts:"I already did."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"And?"
Pepper Potts:"Oh it was very nice. Very tasteful. Thank you Mr. Stark."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"You're welcome Miss Potts.
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Am I making you uncomfortable?"
Pepper Potts:"Oh, no, I always forget to wear deodorant and dance with my boss in front of everyone that I work with in a dress with no back."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Well, you look great, you smell great. But I could fire you if that would take the edge off."
Pepper Potts:"I actually don't think you could tie your shoes without me."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I'd make it a week."
Pepper Potts:"Really? What's your social security number?"
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"... five"
Pepper Potts:"Five? Right. You're missing just a couple of digits there."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"The other 8. I've got you for the other eight."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Could you please not do anything awful, for 5 seconds?"
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"You know, the question I get asked the most often is 'Tony, how do you go to the bathroom in the suit?'... Just like that."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Give me a phat beat to beat my buddy's ass too."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"You sound pretty sprightly for a dead guy."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I swear to God, I'll dismantle you. I'll soak your motherboard. I'll turn you into a wine rack."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"They're coming in hot, any second. What's the play?"
Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"Well we want to take the high ground, ok? So let's put the biggest gun up on that ridge."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Gotcha. Where do you wanna be?"
Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"Where are you going?"
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"What are you talking about?"
Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"I meant me."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"You have a 'big gun', you are not the 'big gun'."
Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"Tony, don't be jealous."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"It's subtle, all the bells and whistles."
Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"Yeah, it's called being a bad ass."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Fine."
Senator Stern:"Look, I'm no expert..."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"In prostitution, of course not. You're a senator. Come on!"
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I gotta say, it's hard to get a read on you."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Get ready for a major remodel fellas. We're back in hardware mode."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Wake up! Daddy's home!"
Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow):"I need your impression."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"You have a quiet reserve. I don't know, you're an old soul..."
Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow):"I meant your fingerprint."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. To turn over the Iron Man suit would be to turn over myself, which is tantamount to indentured servitude or prostitution, depending on what state you're in. You can't have it."
Agent Coulson:"We need you."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Yeah. More than you know."
Agent Coulson:"Not that much."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I thought you were out of one-liners."
Col. Rhodey Rhodes (War Machine):"That's the last one."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I have successfully privatized world peace!"
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"You are mind blowingly duplicitous. How do you do it? You just tear things, you're a triple impostor, I've never seen anything like it. Is there anything real about you?"
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Do you have the sniffles? I don't want to get sick."
Justin Hammer:"You know Christine Everheart, from Vanity Fair? You guys know each other?"
Pepper Potts:"Hi!"
Christine Everheart:"Yes."
Pepper Potts:"Yes."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Yes, roughly."
Pepper Potts:"Yes we do, roughly."
Justin Hammer:"Btw, the big story, the new CEO of Stark Industries. Congratulations."
Christine Everheart:"I know. I know, and my editor will kill me if I don't grab a quote for our powerful women issue."
Pepper Potts:"Oh, sure."
Justin Hammer:"She's actually doing a big spread on me for Vanity Fair. I thought I'd throw her a bone, you know."
Christine Everheart:"Yes."
Pepper Potts:"Well she did quite a spread on Tony last year."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"And she wrote a story as well."
Pepper Potts:"It was very impressive."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"That was good."
Pepper Potts:"It was very well done."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Looks like a TKO to me."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Trust me, I know. I'm good at this stuff."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I want one."
Pepper Potts:"No."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Let the record reflect that I observed Mister Hammer entering the chamber, and I am wondering if, and when, any actual expert will also be in attendance."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"I loved you in 'A Christmas Story' by the way."
Harley Keener: "If I was building Iron Man and War Machine..."
Tony Stark (Iron Man): "It's Iron Patriot now."
Harley Keener: "That's way cooler!"
Tony Stark (Iron Man): "No it's not."
Tony Stark (Iron Man):"Here's a little holiday greeting I've been wanting to send to the Mandarin. I just didn't know how to phrase it until now. My name is Tony Stark, and I'm not afraid of you. I know you're a coward. So I've decided that you just died, pal. I'm gonna come get the body. There's no politics here, it's just good old-fashioned revenge. There's no Pentagon, it's just you and me. And in the off-chance that you're a man, here's my home address. 10, 8, 80 Malibu Point, 90265. I'll leave the door unlocked."
Tony Stark (Iron Man): "What are you doing? You gonna break his finger? He's in pain. He's been injured. Leave him alone."
Harley Keener: "Sorry."
Tony Stark (Iron Man): "Are you?"
Harley Keener: "I would've added in the retro..."
Tony Stark (Iron Man): "Retro-reflective panels?"
Harley Keener: "To make him stealth mode."
Tony Stark (Iron Man): "You want a stealth mode?"
Harley Keener: "Cool, right?"
Tony Stark (Iron Man): "That's actually a good idea. Maybe I'll build one."
Sherlock Holmes:"What a busy afterlife you're having."
Irene Adler:"Why are you always so suspicious?"
Sherlock Holmes:"Shall I answer chronologically or alphabetically?"
Inspector Lestrade:"You know, in another life you would've made an excellent criminal."
Sherlock Holmes:"Yes, and you sir, an excellent policeman."
Sherlock Holmes:"In over your head yet darling?"
Sherlock Holmes:"Data! Data! Data! I cannot make bricks without clay!"
Sherlock Holmes:"No girl wants to marry a doctor who can't tell if a man's dead or not!"
Sherlock Holmes:"This mustn't register on an emotional level."
Flora:"Reckon your future sir?"
Sherlock Holmes:"Absolutely not."
Doctor Watson:"No thank you mam."
Flora:"You need to hear what I have to tell you."
Sherlock Holmes:"We have no need of your lucky heather, gypsy woman!"
Flora:"Even if it's to do with Mary? Oh, I see two men. Brothers. Not in blood, but in bond."
Doctor Watson:"What of Mary?"
Flora:"'M' for mary. For Marriage, oh you will be married."
Doctor Watson:"Go on."
Flora:"Oh, I see patterned tablecloths and china figurines and lace dollies!"
Sherlock Holmes:"Hm, dollies."
Doctor Watson:"Lace dollies? Holmes, does your depravity know no bounds?!"
Sherlock Holmes:"No."
Flora:"Oh she turns to fat! Oh, she has a beard!"
Sherlock Holmes:"What of the warts?!"
Flora:"Oh, and she's covered in warts!"
Sherlock Holmes:"Are they extensive?!"
Doctor Watson:"Please! Enough!"
Sherlock Holmes:"Meat or potatoes?"
Mrs Hudson:"Tea, Mister Holmes?"
Sherlock Holmes:"Is it poisoned, nanny?!"
Sherlock Holmes:"I, using musical theory, have created order out of chaos."
Sherlock Holmes:"Madam, I need you to remain calm, and trust me, I'm a professional. Beneath this pillow lies the key to my release."
Sherlock Holmes:"Crime is common, logic is rare."
Sherlock Holmes:"My mind rebels at stagnation. Give me problems, give me work."
Sherlock Holmes:"First, distract target. Then block his blind jab. Counter with cross to the left cheek. Discombobulate. Dazed, he'll attempt a wild hay maker. Employ the elbow block and body shot. Block thorough left. Weaken right jaw. Now fracture. Break cracked ribs. Traumatize, solar plexus. Dislocate jaw entirely. Heel kick to diaphragm. In summary: ears ringing, jaw fractured, three ribs cracked, four broken, diaphragm haemorrhaging. Physical recovery: 6 weeks. Full psychological
recovery: 6 months. Capacity to spit at back of head, neutralized."
Sherlock Holmes:"I feel safer already."
Sherlock Holmes:"Head cocked to the left, partial deafness in ear: first point of attack. Two: throat; paralyze vocal chords, stop scream. Three: got to be a heavy drinker, floating rib to the liver. Four: finally, drag in left leg, fist to patella. Summary prognosis: unconscious in ninety seconds, martial efficacy quarter of an hour at best. Full faculty recovery: unlikely."
Sherlock Holmes: "Ah, very witty. So confident, even in retreat."
Sherlock Holmes: "It's so overt, it's covert."
Sherlock Holmes: "That was no accident. It was by design."
Sherlock Holmes: "I agree, it's not my best disguise but I had to make do."
Sherlock Holmes: "Don't you have a goat that needs worming?"
Sherlock Holmes: "Madam, this is a glorious hedgehog goulash. I can't remember ever having had better."
Doctor Watson: "You do seem..."
Sherlock Holmes: "Excited."
Doctor Watson: "Manic."
Sherlock Holmes: "I am."
Doctor Watson: "Verging on..."
Sherlock Holmes: "Ecstatic."
Doctor Watson: "Psychotic."
Sherlock Holmes: "Where are the wagons?"
Madam Simza Heron: "The wagon is too slow. Can't you ride?"
Doctor Watson: "It's not that he can't ride. How is it you put it, Holmes?"
Sherlock Holmes: "They're dangerous at both ends and crafty in the middle. Why would I want anything with a mind of it's own bobbing about between my legs? Then I shall require a bicycle, thank you very much. It's 1891! I could've charted a balloon."
Sherlock Holmes: "Feed the snake woman."
Sherlock Holmes: "Touchy, touchy."
Sherlock Holmes: "Trust me, this is what I do for a living."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "It's good to meet you, Dr. Banner. Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Guys, I'm bringing the party to you."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Security breach!"
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Still, you are pretty spry, for an older fellow. What's your thing, Pilates?"
Steve Rogers / Captain America: "What?"
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "It's like calisthenics. You might have missed a couple things, you know, doing time as a Capsicle."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "You have reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark. Please leave a message."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "How does Fury even see these?"
Agent Maria Hill: "He turns."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Sounds exhausting."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "That man is playing Galaga! Thought we wouldn't notice, but we did."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Official consulting hours are between 8 and 5 every other Thursday."
Loki: "Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Uh, actually I'm planning to threaten you."
Loki: "You should've left your armor on for that."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Yeah. It's seen a bit of mileage, and you got the 'glow stick of destiny'. Would you like a drink?"
Loki: "Stalling me won't change anything."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "No, no, no. Threatening. No drink? You sure? I'm having one."
Loki: "The Chitauri are coming. Nothing will change that. What have I to fear?"
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "The Avengers. It's what we call ourselves, sort of like a team. 'Earth's Mighiest Heroes' type thing."
Loki: "Yes, I've met them."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one but, let's do a head count here. Your brother, the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and you, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them."
Loki: "That was the plan."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Not a great plan. When they come, and they will, they'll come for you."
Loki: "I have an army."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "We have a Hulk."
Loki: "Oh, I thought the beast had wandered off."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "You're missing the point. There's no throne. There is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damn well sure we'll avenge it."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Give yourself some credit, please. Stark Tower is your baby. Give yourself 12% of the credit."
Pepper Potts: "Twelve percent?"
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "An argument can be made for fifteen."
Pepper Potts: "Twelve percent of my baby?"
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Well, I did do all the heavy lifting. Literally, I lifted the heavy things. And sorry, but the security snafu? That was on you."
Pepper Potts: "Oooooh."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "My private elevator."
Pepper Potts: "You mean our elevator?"
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Yeah, it was teeming with sweaty workmen. I'm going to pay for that comment about percentages in some subtle way later, aren't I?"
Pepper Potts: "Not gonna be that subtle."
Agent Maria Hill: "When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Last night. The packet, Selvig's notes. The Extraction theory papers. Am I the only one who did the reading?"
Steve Rogers / Captain America: "Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?"
Bruce Banner / The Hulk: "He'd have to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Unless, Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect."
Bruce Banner / The Hulk: "Well, if he could do that he could achieve Heavy Ion Fusion at any reactor on the planet."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Finally, someone who speaks English."
Steve Rogers / Captain America: "Is that what just happened?"
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "An intelligence organization that fears intelligence? Historically, not awesome."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "You know, I thought we were having a moment."
Pepper Potts: "I was having twelve percent of a moment."
Thor: "Do not touch me again."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Then don't take my stuff."
Thor: "You have no idea what you're dealing with."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Uh, Shakespeare in The Park? Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?"
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Of the people in this room, which one is A, wearing a spangly outfit, and b, not of use."
Steve Rogers / Captain America: "You think Fury is hiding something?"
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "He's a spy. Captain, he's THE spy. His secrets have secrets."
Steve Rogers / Captain America: "Yeah, big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?"
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me."
Tony Stark / Iron Man: "Alright, yay! Alright, good job guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day."
Wikipedia
