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Abby Sciuto:"Geez McGee?! What?! Are you on some sort of anti-nun crusade here?!"

Agent Caitlin (Kate) Todd:"Lunch with the boss on your first day. You're destined for stars on those shoulders commander."

Jimmy Palmer:"Um, I'm not exactly the type that would do well in prison guys."
Agent Tony DiNozzo:"No one is going to think any less of you if you want out Palmer."
Jimmy Palmer:"Really?"
Agent Tony DiNozzo:"Well no, they probably would, at least I know I would."
Jimmy Palmer:"Alright then, I want a code name, something cool sounding."

Agent Tony DiNozzo:"Boy that knock to the head must of been harder then I thought because I'm saying crazy things that I don't even understand."

Doctor Ducky Mallard:"Danger, intrigue, a damsel in distress. I'm actually looking forward to it."

Agent Ziva David:"Is there a reason why you always have to drive?"
Agent Tony DiNozzo:"I could say its because I'm the Senior Field Agent but mostly because I want to live."

Jimmy Palmer:"In your own words, the difference between ethics and morals."
Doctor Ducky Mallard:"Well the ethical man knows he shouldn't cheat on his wife, whereas the moral man actually wouldn't."

Agent Caitlin (Kate) Todd:"Ok, I earned my jockstrap!"
Agent Jethro Gibbs:"Yeah? Does it ever give you that empty feeling?"
Agent Caitlin (Kate) Todd:"What?"
Agent Jethro Gibbs:"Your jockstrap."
Agent Caitlin (Kate) Todd:"No. Like some species of frogs, I grow what I need."

Abby Sciuto:"You do realize..."
Agent Michelle Lee:"You can kill me without leaving any forensic evidence behind? Yeah you mentioned that."

Agent Tony DiNozzo:"I have much to learn still Master."

Doctor Ducky Mallard:"Nature always proves to be a far more elusive and powerful killer then man."

Officer:"NCIS, never heard of it."
Agent Tony DiNozzo:"That's embarrassing."
Officer:"NCIS anything like CSI?"
Agent Tony DiNozzo:"Only if your dyslexic."

Agent Ziva David:"Remove your hand or I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with it!"

Agent Jethro Gibbs:"Have you ever worked a crime scene Agent Todd?"
Agent Caitlin (Kate) Todd:"I am a Secret Service agent."
Agent Jethro Gibbs:"I thought not."

NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service Theme music song