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Hottie:"So this is where you live."
Hancock:"Yeah."
Hottie:This is your hideout. Your 'Bat Cave'. Your fortress of solitude."
Hancock:"It's a couple trailers I stuck together."

Hancock:"What do you want?! A cookie?! Get the hell out of my face!"

Mary Embrey:"Call me crazy one more time!"

Executive #1:"As a concept, 'free' is kind of up there with 'lethal side affects'."
Executive #2:"'Mandatory product recall'."
Executive #1:"'Get indicted, go to jail'."
Executive #2:"'Get out. Work at IHOP for the rest of your career '."

Ray Embrey:"So you've used the door, the building's still intact, people are happy you've arrived, they feel safe now, there's an officer there and he's done a good job, so you might want to tell him he's done a good job."
Hancock:"What the hell did I have to come for Ray if he's done a good job?"

Hancock:"All you people blocking the intersection, you're all idiots!"

Ray Embrey:"That's something you might want to bring up on the first date, Mary. I don't like to travel, I'm allergic to cats, I'm immortal. Ok? Those are like some of the things you might want to give a little 'heads up' on."

Hottie:"What's all this?"
Hancock:"Jiffy Pop."
Hottie:"Jiffy Pop. What do you do with it?"
Hancock:"Pop it."

Ray Embrey:"Your landing is your first impression. It's your superhero handshake. Don't come in too hot ok? Don't come in too boozy and don't land on a 100 thousand dollar Mercedes alright? People have to be happy that you've arrived."

Hancock:"I ain't wearing that Ray."
Ray Embrey:"Yes you are."
Hancock:"Oh no I'm not."
Ray Embrey:"No, you are."
Hancock:"Actually I'm not Ray."
Ray Embrey:"You think you're not, but you are."
Hancock:"I will fight crime butt ass naked before I fight it in that Ray."
Ray Embrey:"You know, you have fought naked. We've got that. That's on Youtube."

Hancock:"Call me an ******* one more time."

Hancock:"Do I have permission to touch your body?"
Female Cop:"Yes!"
Hancock:"It's not sexual. Not that you're not an attractive woman. You're actually a very attractive woman."
Female Cop:"Get me the **** out of here!"