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Brian Fantana:"I mean come on Ed, it's bull crap! Don't get me wrong, I love the ladies. I mean they rev my engine, but they don't belong in the newsroom!"
Champ Kind:"It's anchorMAN! Not anchorLADY! And that is a scientific fact!"
Brick Tamland:"I don't know what we're yelling about!"
Brian Fantana:"You're with us, Ron, what do you think?"
Ron Burgundy:"She... Sh... It's terrible! She has beautiful eyes, and her hair smells like cinnamon!"
Brick Tamland:"Loud noises!"

Little Girl:"You are an awful man! You are truly a disappointment to us all Mr Burgundy!"

Ron Burgundy:"I know that one day Veronica and I are gonna to get married on top of a mountain! And there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs! And we will dance till the sun rises! And then our children will form a family band! And we will tour the countryside and you won't be invited!"

Veronica Corningstone:"You look like a blueberry!"

Veronica Corningstone:"Mr Burgundy, you are acting like a baby."
Ron Burgundy:"I'm not a baby, I am a man! I am an anchorman!"
Veronica Corningstone:"You are not a man! You are a big fat joke!"
Ron Burgundy:"I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn! That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science."

Ron Burgundy:"You know how to cut to the core of me Baxter. You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair."

Ron Burgundy:"You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate a whole wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? I'm not even mad... that's amazing."

Ron Burgundy:"For all of us here at news center 4, I'm Ron Burgundy. You stay classy San Diego."

Champ Kind:"What in the hell is diversity?"
Ron Burgundy:"Well, I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era."

Ron Burgundy:"Brick, where did you get a hand grenade?"
Brick Tamland:"I don't know."

Ron Burgundy:"Now before we do this, let's go over the ground rules. Rule number 1, no touching of the hair or face!"
Arturo Mendes:"Of course!"
Ron Burgundy:"And that's it! Now let's do this!"

Brian Fantana: "Ron, I know it sounds harsh, but God does not want her to live."

Brick Tamland:"I love carpet. I love desk."
Ron Burgundy:"Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?"
Brick Tamland:"I love lamp."
Ron Burgundy:"Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?"
Brick Tamland:"I love lamp! I love lamp!"

Ron Burgundy:"Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast."
Champ Kind:"It jumped up a notch."
Ron Burgundy:"It did, didn't it?"
Brick Tamland:"Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart."
Ron Burgundy:"I saw that! Brick killed a guy! Did you throw a trident?"
Brick Tamland:"Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident."
Ron Burgundy:"Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safe house or a relative close by. Lay low for a while because you're probably wanted for murder. I'm proud of you fellas. You kept your head on a swivel and that's what you gotta do when you find yourself in a vicious cockfight!"

Brian Fantana:"Time to musk up."
Ron Burgundy:"Wow... Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight."
Brian Fantana:"No, she gets a special cologne. It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries. Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good."
Ron Burgundy:"It's quite pungent."
Brian Fantana:"Oh yeah."
Ron Burgundy:"It's a formidable scent. It stings the nostrils. In a good way."
Brian Fantana:"Yep."
Ron Burgundy:"Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline."
Brian Fantana:"They've done studies you know. 60% of the time, it works every time."
Ron Burgundy:"That doesn't make sense."

Public TV News Anchor:"Not so fast you ingrates! Public News Team is taking a break from its pledge drive to kick some ass! No commercials! No mercy!"

Ron Burgundy:"That's going to do it for all of us here at channel 4 news. You stay classy San Diego. I'm Ron Burgundy?"
Ed Harken:"Damn it! Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter?!"

Ron Burgundy:"Ohhh! Great Odin's raven!"

Wes Mantooth:"Hey nice clothes gentlemen. I didn't know the Salvation Army was having a sale?"

Champ Kind:"I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again!"

Ron Burgundy:"Son of a bee sting! She's turning the entire office against us!"
Brian Fantana:"This is grim. Real Grim."
Champ Kind:"What are we going to do?"
Ron Burgundy:"There's only one thing a man can do when he's suffering from a spiritual and existential funk."
Champ Kind:"Go to the zoo, flip off the monkeys?"
Ron Burgundy:"No... buy new suits!"

Brick Tamland:"Hey! Where did you get those clothes? At the toilet store?"

Ron Burgundy:"Good evening. I'm Ron Burgundy and this is what's happening in your world tonight."