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Cutter:"Now you're looking for the secret. But you won't find it because of course, you're not really looking. You don't really want to work it out. You want to be fooled."

- The Pretender

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The theme song to the tv show The Pretender (without the intro)

- The Pretender

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Miss Parker:"Where's Planned Parenthood when you need them."

- The Pretender

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Workman:"Mam, the materials on board are highly explosive!"
Miss Parker:"So am I."

- The Pretender

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Beach Boy:"I never experienced such a connection to another human being in my entire life."
Miss Parker:"Maybe if you showered once in awhile, the experience wouldn't be quite so unique."

- The Pretender

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Broots:"Well, I don't usually remember my dreams, but this particular one was... I was sitting in some kind of a bar and uh, everybody was walking around wearing leather. And I was trying to flirt with the bartender, who was a woman. All this time, I'm talking, saying some really clever things, and, you know, like, like 'dream clever', and then, she turns around and it's Miss Parker. And now I'm really turned on and she reaches out and grabs me and pulls me across the bar and starts shoving me into a blender."

- The Princess Bride

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The Ancient Booer:"Boo! Boo! Boo!"

- The Princess Bride

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Westley:"There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours."

- The Princess Bride

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Westley:"It's not that bad. Well, I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely."

- The Princess Bride

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Vizzini:"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous of which is 'never get involved in a land war in Asia', but only slightly less well known is this: 'Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line'! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha."

- The Princess Bride

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Miracle Max:"Beat it or I'll call the Brute Squad."
Fezzik:"I'm on the Brute Squad."
Miracle Max:"You are the Brute Squad!"

- The Princess Bride

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Valerie:"Bye bye boys!"
Miracle Max:"Have fun storming the castle!"
Valerie:"Think it will work?"
Miracle Max:"It would take a miracle."
Miracle Max & Valerie:"Bye bye!"

- The Princess Bride

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Princess Buttercup:"You can't hurt me. Westley and I are joined by the bonds of love. And you cannot track that, not with a thousand bloodhounds, and you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords. And when I say you are a coward, that is only because you are the slimiest weakling ever to crawl the earth!"

- The Princess Bride

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Inigo Montoya:"We need a miracle, it's very important."
Miracle Max:"Look, I'm retired. Besides, why would you want someone the king's stinking son fired? I might kill whoever you want to make the miracle."
Inigo Montoya:"He's already dead."
Miracle Max:"He is huh, I'll take a look."

- The Princess Bride

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Westley:"Where am I?"
The Albino:"The Pit of Despair! don't even think agh uhagh uhagh. Don't even think about trying to escape."

- The Princess Bride

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Fezzik:"It's not my fault I'm the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise."

- The Princess Bride

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Inigo Montoya:"Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up."

- The Princess Bride

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Westley:"Give us the gate key."
Yellin:"I have no gate key."
Inigo Montoya:"Fezzik, tear his arms off."
Yellin:"Oh, you mean this gate key."